There was a dropping of water. I heard it repeat the same pattern for what seemed hours. The continous sound of liquad hitting liquad; but I couldn't see any. All I could see were these 4 dark walls, stained and dirty, and the door that let in little light. The beam from the door was inviting but I feared it. If I were to travel out now, what would happen? The patter of water proceeded.
Its been several days since I went to check outside. The windows were boarded up and I left no light on. It would've been hard to tell the time of day if it weren't for the gapes in between boards. It made me want to tear the boards from them for the darkness was strangely empty. But I stayed strong, and I stayed in the dark.
Some would find the darkness terrifying but I didn't seem to feel anything. The dark was a being itself and it whisper both evil and calm words to me. It would tell me that I had a time and that the time was soon. Nearing each day I stayed with it. It's intention to tell me stories unlike I've ever heard; ones of awakenings, new lives, and new deaths. I was a key factor and needed to play my part, it would say as it counted the days with me. Many, many days.
I was waiting for something, but I didn't know what.
Maybe I was waiting for sleep, just like everyone else. Some people invited it freely, but I couldn't. It wasn't my time to go. I couldn't just leave. I was waiting and I had to keep waiting. Wait until I realized what I was waiting for.
The next day I heard a knock on my door...
Or it may have been a forced entry; I cared little. The man toppled into my little room, bringing the lights with him. It was day again, it seemed. He looked petrified at the sign of me; almost pitiful. I could see he had undergone many hardships recently but I did not ask. In fact, I did not speak. He edged towards me slowly and calmly, as if aproaching a wild animal, and layed a hand on my head. He shed tears and tried to close my eyes, but I would not. I had been in here awhile and had not slept in the process. I did not intend to now.
Maybe this is what I've been waiting for.
In his arms I was carried out of my dark room into the bright world. A wind hit us just as we stepped out of the building but it wasn't harsh. It felt warmer then myself. The man took no heed and I settled in his arms for a trip, maybe long or short. He seemed to be wearing a ragged camoflage uniform which bore the flag of my home. He was friendly but looking at the man sent a sense of dread throughout me; I don't know why.
There were 2 others with him dressed in the same attire. One driving a vechicle with a gun mounted on it's back, the other manning the gun. It was deadly but the women who held the trigger was ignorant to it's true power. A gun can kill, thats the simply part of it.
In a dust cloud, the car revved foward into the vast desert outside my town. A silent town; no one walking the streets anymore. Part of me made it so I did not bother to remember why.
In the midst of the silent ride the driver stared upon my face. His expression, well alike an earlier expression, was filled with pity but also fear. When he looked into my eyes I wonder what he saw. A child, victim, or tyrant maybe. Had I been to blame for anything he would even have been less weary. But he doesn't know, and niether do I.
"Why is she so monotonous?" He spoke to the man who held me. "And why did you bring her?" His unease was obvious from the clench in his teeth and grip on the wheel but it was not the same for women. She was taken aback at his questions; almost angry.
"Answer your own questions. I don't know why'd you even ask that," she raged. Her apathy was unbearable. New to the job possibly, or maybe a quarrel between co-workers.
We then arrived at a small base somewhere on the outskirts of the small town. They had set up tents; temporary shelters outside settlements. The cloud of dust ended behind us and we came to a stop. I was gripped tightly but somewhat reluctantly. Since I was taken from my room, I've had nothing but odd expressions cast my way. What was it that they saw on me? Do I appear different? Do we have different feelings? It was possible that I felt less, it did seem, but that they made up in themselves.
I was placed on a small trolly in a white tent. Here men and women in white clothing washed my body down. They removed the dirt from my skin and cleansed my hair of impurities. My stratches were mended, my bruises covered, and all imperfections fixed. If I even changed, I wouldn't know it. I had no strenght to move; my limbs were heavy. They felt like lead on my body; wieghing me down. There I lay, eyes cracked open as the sun moved across the sky. Day changed to night; leaving a quiet stillness in the coated black.
Stars gleamed in the sky and I viewed them through a crack in the tent. I hadn't seen them in what seemed like forever. They were soothing sights in darkness. A light in what would be called night. How beautiful. Looking at these stars I felt as if I were to move towards them. I swung my legs over the sides of the trolly and motioned my body, almost lazily.
Then I moved for the first time since I could remember.
It was true, I remember nothing and I knew nothing but what was before me. I have ever only known the darkness and that cold and evil fiend knew me, moreso then even myself. It's words continued through me. Saying 'When you see your time, you'll know. And when you do know, I'll be waiting.' This confused me at first but I let facts lay in the past and continued to look for the answer.
Out into the night I dragged my bare feet across the dirt. Where was everyone? All I heard was the timid sound of breathing coming from tents and cars alike. I aproached a small fountain. Its reflective surface keenly interested me and into it I peered.
I was pale and my eyes showed blank; such was how I felt. Empty. I had stitches all along areas of my body and in some areas my skin was an odd discoloration. Weakness I care not, and for my body I haven't the time. I found the coarse lines on my body elegant. Somewhat beautiful in it's grotesque nature, but enough of vanity. I moved on.
It was the same man I stumbled upon. The one who entered my room and took me from that spot. His dark skin was relaxed in the night. Not an eerie calm, just a true relaxation. At peace with the world. I stroked his face but felt nothing. My nerves were limited to knowing when I touched something. But I never truelly felt what I touched.
His eyes opened in shock and he jumped back at the feel of my hand. A different look was upon his face now. Not of pity.
He had a look of extreme terror.
He broke from his bed and stole for the door but I didn't want him to leave. Watching his movements I felt a rush. I moved faster as he had done; moving as if in a sprint and on his tail he started screaming immensely. How things can give a wail with such intensified pain was beyond me. I listened to it in anguish, as if the sound caused pain to me as well. His screeching awoke the other soldiers and caused them to spill from their tents. I was a marvel then; they all stared. Some in be-wonderment others in shock. Some were generally confused. I didn't care, I wanted the man before me. He had to mean something. Was he what I was waiting for? He had to be.
I reached for him, my hand grasping air as he moved from my path. I stifled a noise in my throat for I couldn't speak and never could. Or at least I had not remembered how. The man was cornered in then and I had him. No one advanced. I could find the answer. I know I could. My mind told me, I was so close.
At that moment I realized my question. What I had been searching for an answer to.
An answer for this unquenchable hunger.
I took the man in my arms and held him. I could feel the anxiety; the fear. He shook in my hold but I did not withdraw. His skin was smoother then ever and I neared it slowly until suddenly I came to it's surface and roughly bite into his shoulder. He cried from shock as my teeth dug into his chocolate colored skin and I clamped down my teeth hard. There was an uproar about this and many started to run or at least withdraw from me. Gasped came from more tender spirits while the rough drew their weapons from their holsters. I couldn't be stopped though. As my mouth filled with his crimson and flesh I sank into a stupor. I felt warm and renewed. I felt exuberant and free. I felt alive.
A large boom echoed into the silence and my body contorted backwards until I toppled over onto the ground backwards. My back resting on the the back of my legs. The feeling left me. I felt emotionless again. Too empty and left again in the dark. I looked at the cruel face of the man whom had been tender to me. He accepted a pistol from the soldier behind me and staring me right in the face; he shot me in the forehead. A tear escaping his eyes as he no longer knew what he was doing.
My body lay motionless again. My limbs sodden with wieght again and they wrapped me in a tarp to carry me away. I suddenly felt the fatigue I had been concealing I wanted to sleep but I couldn't. I have found the answer to what the darkness wanted me to find but not what was nagging at me. Such tears usually came to my eyes as did the man's but I never felt it. I was empty again. So empty.
Very tired. I realize what that mean't now. I was placed in the back of a car and off it revved. To where I knew not. I didn't care because I began to understand so much. If I slept I would not wake up. I would never be able to find the answer again.
We stopped in the middle of no where again. But this time there were no tents; just the smell of freshly dug ground. From the car my tarp was dragged and thrown in a hole. The tarp unwrapped and laid about me. I could hear the sobs of a man above me. The same one was staring down at me in a woeful expression this time. Longing I knew for I too had it.
And as they lay the dirt into the hole around me I could hear his voice repeat, "Daddy's little girl."
"It's ok to cry," said the women from before. "Go sit down, you're looking quite sickly." So caring but so fierce she was as she laid the dirt on me. I was buried then; stuck with the whispering. That same grip from before. The same darkness. It told me to wait and that my time would come. The time for me to tear through the dirt and seek out my fill again. To sate the hunger.
As I let my mind drift, never giving in to the lethargy, I heard the pitter patter of the liquid again. Dropping from the floorboards in my room where I lay. Down the story and laying beautifully in a pool of dark crimson where in my home it stays. From that day until the day my father goes back to visit me again.
Its been several days since I went to check outside. The windows were boarded up and I left no light on. It would've been hard to tell the time of day if it weren't for the gapes in between boards. It made me want to tear the boards from them for the darkness was strangely empty. But I stayed strong, and I stayed in the dark.
Some would find the darkness terrifying but I didn't seem to feel anything. The dark was a being itself and it whisper both evil and calm words to me. It would tell me that I had a time and that the time was soon. Nearing each day I stayed with it. It's intention to tell me stories unlike I've ever heard; ones of awakenings, new lives, and new deaths. I was a key factor and needed to play my part, it would say as it counted the days with me. Many, many days.
I was waiting for something, but I didn't know what.
Maybe I was waiting for sleep, just like everyone else. Some people invited it freely, but I couldn't. It wasn't my time to go. I couldn't just leave. I was waiting and I had to keep waiting. Wait until I realized what I was waiting for.
The next day I heard a knock on my door...
Or it may have been a forced entry; I cared little. The man toppled into my little room, bringing the lights with him. It was day again, it seemed. He looked petrified at the sign of me; almost pitiful. I could see he had undergone many hardships recently but I did not ask. In fact, I did not speak. He edged towards me slowly and calmly, as if aproaching a wild animal, and layed a hand on my head. He shed tears and tried to close my eyes, but I would not. I had been in here awhile and had not slept in the process. I did not intend to now.
Maybe this is what I've been waiting for.
In his arms I was carried out of my dark room into the bright world. A wind hit us just as we stepped out of the building but it wasn't harsh. It felt warmer then myself. The man took no heed and I settled in his arms for a trip, maybe long or short. He seemed to be wearing a ragged camoflage uniform which bore the flag of my home. He was friendly but looking at the man sent a sense of dread throughout me; I don't know why.
There were 2 others with him dressed in the same attire. One driving a vechicle with a gun mounted on it's back, the other manning the gun. It was deadly but the women who held the trigger was ignorant to it's true power. A gun can kill, thats the simply part of it.
In a dust cloud, the car revved foward into the vast desert outside my town. A silent town; no one walking the streets anymore. Part of me made it so I did not bother to remember why.
In the midst of the silent ride the driver stared upon my face. His expression, well alike an earlier expression, was filled with pity but also fear. When he looked into my eyes I wonder what he saw. A child, victim, or tyrant maybe. Had I been to blame for anything he would even have been less weary. But he doesn't know, and niether do I.
"Why is she so monotonous?" He spoke to the man who held me. "And why did you bring her?" His unease was obvious from the clench in his teeth and grip on the wheel but it was not the same for women. She was taken aback at his questions; almost angry.
"Answer your own questions. I don't know why'd you even ask that," she raged. Her apathy was unbearable. New to the job possibly, or maybe a quarrel between co-workers.
We then arrived at a small base somewhere on the outskirts of the small town. They had set up tents; temporary shelters outside settlements. The cloud of dust ended behind us and we came to a stop. I was gripped tightly but somewhat reluctantly. Since I was taken from my room, I've had nothing but odd expressions cast my way. What was it that they saw on me? Do I appear different? Do we have different feelings? It was possible that I felt less, it did seem, but that they made up in themselves.
I was placed on a small trolly in a white tent. Here men and women in white clothing washed my body down. They removed the dirt from my skin and cleansed my hair of impurities. My stratches were mended, my bruises covered, and all imperfections fixed. If I even changed, I wouldn't know it. I had no strenght to move; my limbs were heavy. They felt like lead on my body; wieghing me down. There I lay, eyes cracked open as the sun moved across the sky. Day changed to night; leaving a quiet stillness in the coated black.
Stars gleamed in the sky and I viewed them through a crack in the tent. I hadn't seen them in what seemed like forever. They were soothing sights in darkness. A light in what would be called night. How beautiful. Looking at these stars I felt as if I were to move towards them. I swung my legs over the sides of the trolly and motioned my body, almost lazily.
Then I moved for the first time since I could remember.
It was true, I remember nothing and I knew nothing but what was before me. I have ever only known the darkness and that cold and evil fiend knew me, moreso then even myself. It's words continued through me. Saying 'When you see your time, you'll know. And when you do know, I'll be waiting.' This confused me at first but I let facts lay in the past and continued to look for the answer.
Out into the night I dragged my bare feet across the dirt. Where was everyone? All I heard was the timid sound of breathing coming from tents and cars alike. I aproached a small fountain. Its reflective surface keenly interested me and into it I peered.
I was pale and my eyes showed blank; such was how I felt. Empty. I had stitches all along areas of my body and in some areas my skin was an odd discoloration. Weakness I care not, and for my body I haven't the time. I found the coarse lines on my body elegant. Somewhat beautiful in it's grotesque nature, but enough of vanity. I moved on.
It was the same man I stumbled upon. The one who entered my room and took me from that spot. His dark skin was relaxed in the night. Not an eerie calm, just a true relaxation. At peace with the world. I stroked his face but felt nothing. My nerves were limited to knowing when I touched something. But I never truelly felt what I touched.
His eyes opened in shock and he jumped back at the feel of my hand. A different look was upon his face now. Not of pity.
He had a look of extreme terror.
He broke from his bed and stole for the door but I didn't want him to leave. Watching his movements I felt a rush. I moved faster as he had done; moving as if in a sprint and on his tail he started screaming immensely. How things can give a wail with such intensified pain was beyond me. I listened to it in anguish, as if the sound caused pain to me as well. His screeching awoke the other soldiers and caused them to spill from their tents. I was a marvel then; they all stared. Some in be-wonderment others in shock. Some were generally confused. I didn't care, I wanted the man before me. He had to mean something. Was he what I was waiting for? He had to be.
I reached for him, my hand grasping air as he moved from my path. I stifled a noise in my throat for I couldn't speak and never could. Or at least I had not remembered how. The man was cornered in then and I had him. No one advanced. I could find the answer. I know I could. My mind told me, I was so close.
At that moment I realized my question. What I had been searching for an answer to.
An answer for this unquenchable hunger.
I took the man in my arms and held him. I could feel the anxiety; the fear. He shook in my hold but I did not withdraw. His skin was smoother then ever and I neared it slowly until suddenly I came to it's surface and roughly bite into his shoulder. He cried from shock as my teeth dug into his chocolate colored skin and I clamped down my teeth hard. There was an uproar about this and many started to run or at least withdraw from me. Gasped came from more tender spirits while the rough drew their weapons from their holsters. I couldn't be stopped though. As my mouth filled with his crimson and flesh I sank into a stupor. I felt warm and renewed. I felt exuberant and free. I felt alive.
A large boom echoed into the silence and my body contorted backwards until I toppled over onto the ground backwards. My back resting on the the back of my legs. The feeling left me. I felt emotionless again. Too empty and left again in the dark. I looked at the cruel face of the man whom had been tender to me. He accepted a pistol from the soldier behind me and staring me right in the face; he shot me in the forehead. A tear escaping his eyes as he no longer knew what he was doing.
My body lay motionless again. My limbs sodden with wieght again and they wrapped me in a tarp to carry me away. I suddenly felt the fatigue I had been concealing I wanted to sleep but I couldn't. I have found the answer to what the darkness wanted me to find but not what was nagging at me. Such tears usually came to my eyes as did the man's but I never felt it. I was empty again. So empty.
Very tired. I realize what that mean't now. I was placed in the back of a car and off it revved. To where I knew not. I didn't care because I began to understand so much. If I slept I would not wake up. I would never be able to find the answer again.
We stopped in the middle of no where again. But this time there were no tents; just the smell of freshly dug ground. From the car my tarp was dragged and thrown in a hole. The tarp unwrapped and laid about me. I could hear the sobs of a man above me. The same one was staring down at me in a woeful expression this time. Longing I knew for I too had it.
And as they lay the dirt into the hole around me I could hear his voice repeat, "Daddy's little girl."
"It's ok to cry," said the women from before. "Go sit down, you're looking quite sickly." So caring but so fierce she was as she laid the dirt on me. I was buried then; stuck with the whispering. That same grip from before. The same darkness. It told me to wait and that my time would come. The time for me to tear through the dirt and seek out my fill again. To sate the hunger.
As I let my mind drift, never giving in to the lethargy, I heard the pitter patter of the liquid again. Dropping from the floorboards in my room where I lay. Down the story and laying beautifully in a pool of dark crimson where in my home it stays. From that day until the day my father goes back to visit me again.